Autos, moda y rock'n roll

Nunca dejes que este tipo de personajes se suban a tu auto

Siempre está chingón tener compañía en el auto con la que puedas echar rock y hablar de mecánica, pero nunca faltan los que se “cuelan” a tu nave y son capaces de darle en la madre a cualquier viaje, por muy corto que este sea. Checa los ejemplos:

Pasadito de lanza

Sí, nunca falta el güey que no le importa nada y es capaz de ir cambiando la estación del radio, poner música desde su teléfono, bajar el vidrio aunque lleven el aire acondicionado prendido, fumar, etcétera… unas auténticas lacras. Ah bueno, y de repente se atreven a mover alguna palanca o a prender luces.

El aterrado

Insoportable es el compañero de viaje que se va deteniendo contra el tablero cada que uno pisa el freno o acelera, y a veces hasta hacen mímica de una supuesta frenada aunque de su lado, obviamente, ni siquiera hay pedales. O se relajan o se bajan.

El todas me las sé 

Se sabe siempre las mejores rutas, se sabe los mejores atajos, te da los mejores consejos de manejo, te dice cuánto más de gasolina vas gastar y cuánto te hubieras ahorrado si le hubieras hecho caso… ¡LÁRGATE EN METRO!

El apanicado 

Otro ejemplar muy curioso es ese que hace alguna exclamación a un volumen bajo (“aaayyy”, uuufff”, “híjole”, “madres”) cuando pasa un camión “cerca”. Si llueve un poquito mejor cierran los ojos y tampoco se extraña que le tengan pánico a las luces de las patrullas. ¡Regresen al coche con sus mamis!

El compañero de hueva 

Clásico que nadie habla y el silencio se vuelve incómodo. A ver, si quisiéramos ir solos y en silencio mejor mandamos a los demás en camión o en algún otro transporte. Esos que van en el asiento del copiloto y se quedan dormidos, merecen cadena perpetua.

El tragón

Si hay algo que odiamos los que amamos los autos es que alguien lo use como restaurante. Si el dueño del auto no lo hace, MENOS LOS PASAJEROS. Los alimentos que nunca deberían de entrar a un auto son: galletas, pan, chocolates y frituras. A comer a su casa. Aquel que come en mi auto siempre recibe un cachetadón… sí, sin avisar.

El nacazo

Aquel engendro que se la pasa piropeando chicas, buscando pelea con los otros autos, haciendo señas obscenas y de vez en cuando se le ocurre, en el caso de viajar en las plazas traseras, de ir golpeando con el pie el respaldo de adelante… como escuincle odioso en el cine.

El súper piloto

Es ese que te dice cómo cambiar la velocidad, cómo tomar el volante, cómo acomodar el asiento, cómo frenar, cómo acelerar, cuándo prender las luces, cuándo prender los limpiadores… (al final son de los que peor manejan). ¿Saben manejar muy bien? Pues cómprense su coche…

El fumador

Lo quemo vivo antes de que ponga un pie en mi auto.

 

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