Nuevo, Queta Malone

Horóscopos patrios

Mis queridos querubines ahí les van sus horóscopos del mes patrio para que no solo peguen un grito si no varios.
Queta-septiembre2013
Aries
Los astros dicen que te abstengas de la perdición y de la bebedera, pero un buen nativo de Aries los mandaría a la fregada y se empinaría un buen pomo al lado de unas chamacas este mes patrio.
Tauro
Esperemos que este año si puedas pegar el grito como se debe, pues acuérdate que el año pasado el único que pegaste fue cuando te machucaste los testículos con la puerta del auto.
Géminis
Los chacras se encuentran de buenas y tu planeta protector se encuentra en Capricornio, por lo que las próximas fases de la luna te favorecerán. No sabemos para qué te sirva, pero aprovecha.
Cáncer
Se ha comentado tu caminata borracho y encuerado alrededor del Ángel de la Independencia en los festejos del 15 del año pasado. Te recomendamos repetirlos pues la gente lo espera con ansia, solamente recuerda pedir coperacha acabando el chou.
Leo
Leo, con tu bravura cada año te entra lo macho y patriota; parecería que el espíritu de Juan Escutia te invadiera por completo. Nomás recuerda que él se aventó con la bandera, no se cayó de borracho jalando una cortina.
Virgo
Tu eres un verdadero héroe patrio por hacer homenajes al cura Hidalgo todos los días. Ya que lo mismo un Chocomilk, una chela, o 3 litros de mezcal, siempre te los empinas de un trago.
Libra
En estas fiestas mexicanas te recomendamos ampliamente que te toquen “La cucaracha”, “La Malagueña” y “La paloma negra”. Pero no nos referimos a la de los mariachis, son las nuevas chicas del table dance de la esquina, que así les apodan.
Escorpión
Se te ha olvidado últimamente la meditación, y no me refiero a que te cruces de patas y hagas ommm, ommm. Me refiero a que le “medites” el agua a los camotes, pues andas muy gandalla.
Sagitario
Las cosas han mejorado en tu vida Sagitario, no te puedes quejar. Sí, sigues con el mismo salario y ese viejo auto, pero que las amiguitas de tu sobrina te encuentren sexy… no tiene precio.
Capricornio
Basta de mezcal, serpentinas y espanta suegras, septiembre ya va a morir. Ahora ya viene el “Jálogüin” y toca vodka y disfraces. Nomás ten cuidado con las estacas y el agua bendita.
Acuario
Las constelaciones te favorecen, las estrellas te protegen y Júpiter te consiente. Que lástima que esto no te sirva para que tu jefe te deje de odiar, mejor chambea duro antes de que te corran.
Piscis
Anímate y ponte guapo, es hora de sacudir tu traje de charro. Ahora guárdalo de nuevo pues no te queda ni de chiste, con semejante panza parece que te tragaste a Marte de una mordida sin importarte que es tu planeta de la suerte.

19 Comentarios

  1. facebook find love –
    Fantastic beat ! I wish to apprentice at the same time as you amend
    your website, how can i subscribe for a weblog
    site? The account helped me a appropriate deal.

    I were tiny bit familiar of this your broadcast provided vivid transparent idea

  2. facebook find love –
    Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of this website.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s tough to
    get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and visual appeal.
    I must say you’ve done a excellent job with this. In addition, the blog
    loads extremely quick for me on Safari. Outstanding Blog!

  3. facebook find love –
    If some one needs to be updated with most recent technologies therefore
    he must be go to see this web page and be up to date everyday.

  4. Good blog you’ve got here.. It’s hard to find good quality writing like yours nowadays.
    I honestly appreciate people like you! Take care!!

  5. This is my first time visit at here and i am really
    happy to read all at single place.

  6. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted
    to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
    In any case I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

  7. Hello! I just want to offer you a big thumbs up for your excellent info you have right here
    on this post. I’ll be coming back to your web site for more soon.

  8. Its like you learn my mind! You seem to understand a lot about this, such as you wrote the guide in it or something.
    I think that you could do with some % to power the message house a little bit, however instead of
    that, that is wonderful blog. A fantastic read. I’ll definitely be
    back.

  9. Good day! I simply would like to offer you a big thumbs up for the excellent information you’ve got here on this post.
    I will be returning to your site for more soon.

  10. Your means of explaining everything in this post is truly good, all be
    able to easily be aware of it, Thanks a lot.

  11. I’m gone to convey my little brother, that he should also pay a quick
    visit this website on regular basis to obtain updated from newest reports.

  12. I am actually glad to read this web site posts which carries tons of helpful information, thanks for providing
    these kinds of statistics.

  13. This design is wicked! You obviously know how to keep a reader
    entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job.

    I really loved what you had to say, and
    more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

  14. Asking questions are genuinely pleasant thing if you are
    not understanding anything entirely, but this paragraph offers good understanding yet.

  15. Wow! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a entirely different subject but
    it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Superb choice of colors!

  16. Hello there I am so glad I found your site, I really found you by mistake, while I was browsing on Digg for
    something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say
    cheers for a remarkable post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I
    don’t have time to browse it all at the minute but I have saved it
    and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the
    excellent jo.

  17. Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative.
    I am gonna watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future.
    A lot of people will be benefited from your writing.
    Cheers!

  18. My relatives every time say that I am killing
    my time here at web, except I know I am getting knowledge all the time by reading thes fastidious articles
    or reviews.

  19. Hey very nice blog!

Deja un comentario

Tema creado por Anders Norén

A %d blogueros les gusta esto: