Autos y chicas, Las talachas de Lorenz@, Nuevo

El coche ayuda pero a veces condena

Yo sé, que ustedes no saben lo que piensan sus novias, amigas, mamás, detalles etc.. de sus coches. Lo sé porque veo lo que hacen con ellos y lo veo con pena.

Existen algunos hombres que gracias a su buen gusto han podido salir adelante y algunos hasta han logrados que a las mujeres nos guste e interese lo que hacen con ellos pero hay algunos otros que nada más no dan una.
Me da gusto que como buenos machos-alfa-pecho-peludo y lectores de este cultísimo portal den la vida por su auto y si son de Satélite o Coapa accesorizarlo sea en lo único que piensen pero hoy, hoy les voy a hacer un favor y me voy a tomar un minuto para decirles las cinco cosas principales que odiamos las mujeres de algunos hombres y sus coches y sepan que cuando sus novias, esposas o detalles les dicen “Mejor nos vamos en taxi” no es por querer ahorrar gasolina, es por la pena que les da subirse a un auto con ustedes.
1.- El Spoiler. Miren, quizás ustedes no lo sepan, pero si no manejan en la F1 su coche no, repito, no necesita spoiler. Contrario a lo que ustedes crean y lo que las películas de Rápido y Furioso les hayan hecho creer, el spoiler no les va a servir para rebasar a nadie en el Periférico y mucho menos mejorará la aerodinámica de su coche así que no sean payasos.

2.-Manejar Acostado. Muchos lo hacen para ganar sex appeal y sacar el lado sensual de ese galán que llevan dentro pero ¿Qué creen? Esta posición no te va a poner los ojos azules, ni te va a convertir en modelo sueco. Si estas feo ¡Aunque te escondas con el asiento echado para atrás! Y si sigues manejando así no vas a ver al coche de enfrente y te vas a meter un trancazo por mamila…y feo.

3.-Sistema de Sonido. En algunos casos es necesario y hoy en día hay sistemas increíbles pero ya cuando abres la cajuela y tienes todas las bocinas del Vive Latino con tweeters y subwoofers incluidos es muy probable que tu chica piense que te dedicas a musicalizar fiestas reggaetoneras en Coapa.

4.-Cromo. Si no eres Jay-Z, Snoop Dog, o un gringo red neck con 50,000 hectáreas de trigo o traes una Clase G y brackets de oro, no puedes ni debes usarlo. Nadie quiere salir con la versión mexicana de Daddy Yankee y mucho menos ver su reflejo en el escape.

5.-Achaparrar el coche. Las chicas pueden justificar que es un truco sucio para que se le vean los calzones cuando abre la puerta e intente bajarse de un coche que parece avalancha si es un Lamborghini seguro no les importa, pero no encuentro un buen argumento o por lo menos uno que valga la pena para que, además de inspeccionar tangas, tengas que estar rozando los 5,000 topes de las Cd de México arriba de un sedán o un hatchback que, de serie era 30 cm más alto.

Espero que lo consideren y piensen dos veces antes de cometer alguno de estos errores, y si tienen algun amigo sateluco o coapeño, compartan este post con él, nos van a hacer un favor.
DE NADA

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